In case you were wondering…

Yes, this blog is still alive, and so am I. So those of you waiting for me to fall on my ass are going to have to wait a little longer. Suffice to say, I have shit to do, and WordPress had sucked lately, so that means less golden blogging to entertain you monkeys. They’ve changed the posting layout, so now my stupid freaking blog tags are gone. >:O

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Now, at this very moment, I happen to be taking up space in Nowheresville, Illinois. (Note: Nowheresville isn’t a real town.) I’m here all week for some dumb conference to train me how to ask people how they feel about their problems. On an interesting note, one of the other conference-goers looks like my “Hey mayn!” neighbor (who has since moved out! ^_^). I call him Mini-Mayn. In fact, most of the conference-goers looks interesting - we have a Lance Armstrong clone (who even seems to wear yellow every day, actually), a guy who was born in Chile/grew up in Canada/has a French name/looks like Templeton from Charlotte’s Web, and a guy who looks like my 9th grade Spanish teacher.

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I haven’t forgotten about movie moments.

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If you take a player’s total innings (INN) played for a season at a single position, and divide it by total chances (TC), does this not provide an accurate idea of their range? After all, the total chances a player creates for himself indicates his speed and/or ability to put himself in place to make a play. I can’t be the first person to think of this, so… what is this even called? Anyway, let’s look at a few examples:

CF Aaron Rowand 2004: 1018 INN/304 TC = 3.349
CF Aaron Rowand 2007: 1373 INN/405 TC = 3.390
CF Torii Hunter 2004 1100 INN/320 TC = 3.438
CF Torii Hunter 2007 1314 INN/387 TC = 3.395

Rowand and Hunter are regarded as some of the best defensive center fielders in baseball, so let’s assume their numbers are great. To be fair, we can really only compare numbers of similar positions, even when it comes to center, left and right field. After all, we could argue that center fielders captain their outfields, and cover the most area that’s considered fair territory. So let’s compare two left fielders:

LF Pat Burrell 2004 1060 INN/230 TC = 4.609
LF Pat Burrell 2007 1028 INN/176 TC = 5.841
LF Matt Holliday 2004 917 INN/188 TC = 4.878
LF Matt Holliday 2007 1383 INN/306 TC = 4.520

So, according to this, we can assume that Pat Burrell has declined in range as he’s aged, and that Matt Holliday has slightly improved since coming into the bigs. I don’t think either Burrell or Holliday was ever thought as a great defensive player, but both have been thought of as adequate, or at least Burrell used to be.

My basic thinking is that the more chances a player has at making a play on the ball, the better his range. He’s either fast, intelligent, well prepared, lucky, well coached, or a combination of those things. We can’t include assists, since those really rely on other players to be availble to help make a play, and rely on things like arm strength and vision, which arguably have less to do with a player’s actual defensive range. Plus, even if you were to factor in assists somehow, you’d have to somehow account for the value of an assist, which is more than a standard putout. 

 

 

 

Sup G

TheBigG has signed on at 2:14:33 pm.
OSUfan833: sup g
TheBigG: what
OSUfan833: this is God rite
TheBigG: Yeah, who is this?
OSUfan833: im brandon
TheBigG: How did you get my screen name?
OSUfan833: facebook
TheBigG: Man, I thought I deleted that. So what’s up?
OSUfan833: i had some questions
TheBigG: I thought so. Well, what do you want to know?
OSUfan833: why do bad things happen to good people
TheBigG: Yeah, I always get that one first. Guess what I did this afternoon?
OSUfan833: what
TheBigG: Glass-blowing. I needed a mug for when baseball starts.
OSUfan833: whoa are you a yankees fan
TheBigG: I, uh, cheer for everyone to have a good time. Anyway. There was a small piece of glass left over that must’ve fallen off. And you know what I did with it?
OSUfan833: what
TheBigG: I made a marble.
OSUfan833: ok
TheBigG: And I only had one, and I was bored. The laundry was in the dryer. So I just kind of played with it. And I noticed something. I have an old antique wood table that’s really sturdy and solid and everything - my son and I made it together, by the way - it’s a lovely old table. But it is old. And there are lots of marks and divots and things that the marble would hit as it made its way across the table.
TheBigG: Now, I made that marble, and it was round and perfect, and should be able to travel flawlessly.
TheBigG: So, remember, I was bored, and the cable was out - I tried to “bowl” with it - I tried to land it in a cup across the table. I even asked my friend Roger to play for pierogies.
TheBigG: But once it left my hands, it was at the mercy of those marks, divots, bumps, whatever. And that marble was going to have to do its best. I guess I could’ve used my finger to poke the marble into a better path to reach the cup, but then, that’d defeat the purpose of even playing a game.
TheBigG: Once or twice, that marble fell off the table. And for some reason, son, that made me sad.
TheBigG: But then, the laundry was done, and we wanted pierogies.
OSUfan833: ok
OSUfan833: so about my question
TheBigG: Oh, right, go ahead.
OSUfan833: why do bad things happen to good people
TheBigG: brb pierogies

They forgot “What’s next? Cheese?”

Rewind Kindly - not a bad Be Kind Rewind type homage to Predator, complete with blackface.

Good thing there are politicans looking out for me.

If you watched the Hillary/Obama debate last night, you saw that America has some good things coming to it. Both senators have wonderful universal health care plans that will cover everybody (especially the precious children), and will be affordable, and will keep health care providers happy. That’s amazing, considering that we’ve had the same health care system in America for about fifty years. With all the promises these two made and keep making, I think the American Left is going to asplode in a nuclear blast of orgasms when one of these senators performs all these wonderful acts on their first day in office.

Anyway. Let’s take a look at what we learned last night about each democratic candidate:

Obama

• A lot of politicians have given up pointing when making a statement, since it’s rude or something. (I call this the Stephanie Tanner Effect) So, they clench their fists and “fist” in the crowd’s general direction. I have always found this retarded. Obama, however, pinches. He looks like he’s pinching a grain of salt when he makes a point. I accept this practice.
• He says “look” a lot.
• When he retorts, he never gets upset or anything. He just smoothly and calmly explains his side while tossing his opponent into the fiery pit of shut the fuck up.
• He’s from his home state of Illinois.
• He has super long fingers.
• When he lays the smack down on Hillary, it’s going to be hard for me not to go, “BUH-ROCK SAYS!” or “IF YOU SMELLLL WHAT BUH-ROCK IS COOKIN’!”.
• He seems pretty in tune with the finer points of the issues. Instead of repeating what everybody else bitches about with NAFTA, he brought up the issues of product standards. He seemed very knowledgeable about past articles, events, statements, issues, and central figures to all the debate questions. I can’t say the same for that blonde mulleted thing sitting next to him.

Hillary

• She whines. “I find it unfair that I always have to answer first!”, despite this being somewhat of an advantage.
• She never blinks. That’s fucking freaky.
• The mullet.
• She’s condescending to her opponent and the moderators.
• She has to get the last word in.
• If she doesn’t remember the name of oh, what’s-his-face that’s in line for Putin’s old job, just mispronounce it and say “Ma-muh-me da ma… uh.. ..whatever” and move on, right? George W. Bush made sure to meet that To.. Toa.. Tom.. Mr. whatever guy that ran Britain, right?
• Being married to the president, appearing at special events, and traveling to foreign countries in luxury jets and staying in hotels counts as political experience, dammit!
• Chelsea accompanies her for moral support. I assume she travels with Socks the cat in a briefcase.

Of course, none of the stuff I saw with Hillary was “news”, but I digress. She got her ass handed to her, and looked like a cuntrag while doing it. I’m not going to be all “HAIL OBAMA” or anything, but I do like the guy, and I’m actually excited about having two presidential candidates I approve of.

Vince and StupidMania XXIV

Vince McMahon makes a lot of stupid, stupid, stupid decisions. If you want to check, just to be sure, go visit Wrestlecrap.com. Now, obviously, Vince makes a lot of good decisions, because he has what’s basically a business monopoly, and is a billionaire.

Just to be fair, he’s done a lot of very smart things. Those things would include:

• He purchased (made a fucking steal) WCW for a few million dollars. The tape library alone was worth that.
• They (WWE) also acquired the tape libraries for lots of dead promotions. (ECW, AWA, Smokey Mountain, and so forth)
• WWE started a 24/7 subscription cable channel to make use of said libraries, along with extensive DVD releases. Both have proven lucrative.
• He managed to outlast every major rival promotion in the U.S. He either drained their talent or let their own incompetence do them in.
• WWE used their large amount of talent to create a “brand split” providing two (and eventually three) separate shows. The diversification of talent provided fresh programming for fans.
• The guy made WrestleMania, Pay-Per-View, and charging $34.95 A MONTH to watch his shows routine.
• McMahon finally admitted “Hey, wrestling is fake!” and thus skirted having to pay the usual licensing fees usually paid by boxing, MMA, and other sports.
• Vince has made huge money off of his stars like The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant.

That’s not bad. Let’s review the bad:

• McMahon created the World Bodybuilding Federation, an independent bodybuilding promotion with like 8 guys and a saturday morning show to promote it. Less than a year later, it had been long canceled, and McMahon was in the midst of a government steroid investigation that nearly cost him his business.
• McMahon and NBC got together to create the XFL, or X-Treme Football League. It lasted one season, and by the end, nobody was watching the low-scoring games with horrible camera angles and players with names on their jerseys like “He Hate Me”.
• His daughter… where do I start? She’s arguably the second-most powerful person in the WWE, yet for years, forced her way on to TV - despite the fact that she had a horrible speaking voice, was loathed by fans, and seemed to somehow be the integral part of major storylines for about six or seven straight years. She ended up marrying one of the most power-hungry and manipulative employees in the company, therefore making him the biggest ass on the planet.
• He really cannot get along with people who don’t share his “vision”. See: Paul Heyman, Steve Austin, Bret Hart, etc. Most of those people had pretty solid ideas, and refused to conform to Vince’s ridiculous ideas. See the following bullet for such ideas. If they refused to cooperate, they were pretty much fired.
• He okayed: on-screen necrophilia, a 90-year old woman giving birth to a plastic hand, Jonathan Coachman being on television in any form, World Champion John Cena, hiring giant slugs who look impressive yet can’t do a thing (Zeus/Tiny Lister, The Great Khali, Giant Gonzales, Brakus, post-WCW Scott Steiner, and on and on), fat male strippers, the kiss my ass club (Vince showing off his ass), women’s “wrestling” (this is a separate topic; no hate against women, but holy shit, hire TALENTED women), the new ECW, Country Superstar Jeff Jarrett (complete with “performances” on Pay Per View), Chyna, and on and on.

Now, my current annoyance with McMahon and WWE is Floyd Mayweather. Mayweather, a boxer, appeared and got into a confrontation with the returning Big Show (see: untalented slugs), and now they’re going to have a “match”, for which Mayweather will be paid twenty million dollars.

My question is, who the fuck is Floyd Mayweather?

I think I’ve somewhat heard his name in passing. I think. Does the average wrestling fan even have a clue of who he is? I don’t. And they’re really pushing for Floyd to look like the good guy, which is bizarre, because he’s almost getting a heel reaction when he appears. He sucks at talking, so the fans can’t connect with him, and he has nowhere near the name value or appeal of Mike Tyson. Tyson succeeded a decade ago because he was a big name with a sideshow appeal, AND because he was opposing Steve Austin, the most popular star the WWF/E had had in over ten years. Twenty million for a boxer that only boxing fans know? Twenty million? What the shit? I understand the benefit of having celebrities appear at WrestleMania (because having Donald Trump walk around next to a wrestling ring lends so much credibility), but let the trained guys do their job. Why not have Show destroy Mayweather’s entourage, and then have Mayweather find someone who can stand up to Show in the ring? This shit isn’t hard, folks. I’d write this crap for an even million. I don’t understand how your publicly traded company turns a profit by paying some barely recognizable boxer twenty million in the midst of UFC destroying both boxing AND wrestling in television ratings and pay per view buys.

But then, I’m not a billionaire, am I?

Whoring

If there’s one thing I do here, it’s telling you what to read, and thereby, think. For cripes’ sake, there are places on the internet you should be checking up on on a daily basis. And this is them:

The Dugout - Ever wondered what it might be like if baseball players talked on AIM? No? Well, too bad, because the kids at Dugout did, and it’s pretty hilarious.

The Smarks/Scott Keith’s Blog of Doom - Pretty much the best wrestling/movie/show reviewer on the web. I don’t understand how he can enjoy anything on fuzzy videos from before 1988, but then, he writes books about this shit for a living. He also has an unhealthy love for Jack Bauer. His movie reviews, although sparse, are excellent. It’s 90% wrestling, though, for those of you who don’t enjoy reading about the exploits of oiled up tattooed roid freaks in tights.

The SomethingAwful Forums - A forum that has something for all interests. Cars, drugs, computers, comics, movies, music, tentacle rape, photoshop, political debate - it’s all there for the low low price of ten bucks, which goes to prevent Lowtax from ever having to get a real job. Ignore the main page, except for the photoshop columns. If you can find it, read about the Uwe Boll boxing challenge.

Criticker - The science of movies and nerdocity. Rate movies, and after a while, it predicts what you’ll think of ‘em.

Seanbaby - It’s not updated often, but what’s there is gold. Sarcastic reviews of video games, old cartoons, comics and Hostess Fruit Pies ads ahoy! You can find links to other Seanbaby archives on his Wikipedia entry.

Inside Pulse - A one-stop shop for various news in sports, movies, music, blah blah blah. The wrestling news is pretty tits.

Meebo - This is how I bug (your word, not mine - I prefer “grace with my inter-presence”) people on AIM at work.

Nerd Recognition

I don’t mind getting credit where credit is due, folks. If I ever give you a black eye, I’ll be sure to sign your forehead. Now, some of you readers might be aware of the fact that I frequent Criticker. Criticker is a website where you can assign scores to movies you’ve seen, and magically, Criticker will begin to predict them. The predictor thing is neat, I reckon, but for me, it’s super convenient to have a log, if you will, of all the movies you’ve seen, and a record of what you thought. The only downside, really, is that my opinions on these things change often. Those of you familiar with children with ADD or ADHD will understand.

Now, like I said, I love getting credit for things. If you happen to sign up for Criticker.com (and I hope that you do), you’ll begin rating and reviewing movies. And, you’ll notice that each movie has a “Submitted by” credit (for those of you who suck at Where’s Waldo, it’s to the upper right of the score box, right below the (1985) in the movie title). This, of course, denotes who submitted the film to the website’s database.

So, I’ll assume about, oh, several hundred of the films on criticker (I’m low-balling that figure, fyi) have been submitted by someone named redpatriot. That would be me.

Movie Moment #20: D-FENS upgrades in Falling Down

Well, when life sucks, there’s sort of a snowball effect. For Bill Foster, his marriage fell apart. Then he lost his job when he was told he was over-educated and under-qualified for the work he did. Then he couldn’t pay child support, and couldn’t see his daughter. Then his wife got a restraining order against him after she felt threatened by his temper and occasional angry outbursts. But Bill (we’ll call him D-FENS, since that’s his license plate, and for most of the film, his identity) carries on and keeps going. He gets dressed, packs a lunch, and drives, well, somewhere. And he gets stuck in traffic. And the air conditioner breaks down. And the noise and anger around him are just too god damn much. So D-FENS up and walks away, leaving his car (and hopefully, he thinks, his problems) behind. It is, after all, his daughter’s birthday. So why not get her a present and surprise her? That’ll make things better.

But along the way, our man D-FENS encounters opposition. A Korean store-owner overcharges for soda, leaving him without enough change to call his ex-wife. When D-FENS gets upset, the store owner threatens him with a bat. So. D-FENS takes the bat and trashes everything in the store that’s overpriced. Prices are rolled back in favor of the (American) consumer, says Mr. D-FENS, who drops fifty cents on the counter for his coke and goes on his way, having done his good deed.

And the march across L.A. begins.

After his confrontation with the storeowner, D-FENS just wants to enjoy a cold soda and rest for a moment. So he climbs a grassy hill to sit and look out over the city. However, this little spot happens to be in gang territory. When gang members show up and demand his briefcase, he lashes out again, and fights them off with the storeowner’s bat. Before, he was defending himself and what he thought were his rights (in his mind, of course), but he wasn’t the aggressor. Now, he openly mocked the gang (”Maybe if you wrote [the graffiti] in fuckin’ English, I could understand it.”) and challenged them as they escaped (”Clear a path, motherfuckers! I’M GOING HOME!”).

And, of course, in this environment, and this film, violence creates more violence.

So, the gang gangs up (hyuk), and drives around town looking for him. When they find him, they speed by and unload on an entire people-filled city block with a load of automatic weapons. They manage to maim most of the bystanders, but miss D-FENS. While they try to see if they hit him, they hit a car, and wipe out.

A small crowd forms at the corner of the accident, and D-FENS casually strolls up to the scene.

Now, check it that out. It’s not by accident that a certain Mr. Christ appears behind Mr. D-FENS. Coincidence? Or a hint that D-FENS is, in his mind, placing his role in life a little higher?

Just one of the gang members is still alive after the crash, but his out-of-reach uzi is picked up by D-FENS, who fires off a shot, and misses him. (”You missed. … I missed, too.”)

And he aims for the guys who just tried to take him out, but after hearing his screams for mercy, slowly turns his aim, and shoots him in the leg, as if to grant said request. Although, D-FENS gathers up the rest of the gang’s guns in a bag, and walks off, leaving him with a “Take some shooting lessons, asshole.”

And the crowd quickly clears a path. D-FENS is going home.

And that’s where the film turns the corner. Before, you could at least argue D-FENS was a sympathetic character who was somewhat victimized. But, when taking the law into his own hands, and striking back at those he perceives as wrong, D-FENS becomes the bad guy. He’s placed himself as above everything else, and made himself the judge. The film manages to stay the course pretty well, but does get a bit formulaic and rely on Robert Duvall’s unnecessary character development a bit too much. But this scene, where D-FENS becomes a violent vigilante, is a pretty strong indicator of what could’ve been.

“I’m the bad guy? When did that happen?”

Lieberman Endorses McCain

Whatever, Joe. If you actually want McCain to win, stay the hell away from him. Lieberman is like the kiss of death to anybody who wants to be liked.

Am I wrong to assume anybody who reads this blog will get a John Cena reference?

NECA’s TMNT Figures

Once upon a time, I kept up with figures. I actually had a Toyfare subscription, and although I didn’t spend a ton of dough on figures, I kept up with stuff. Then I just stopped caring as soon as the market became collector-focused, and staying with the hobby meant spending a decent amount of money. The last figure I’d bought in a long time was the Marvel Legends Punisher, because it was such a great damn figure. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s the greatest single toy I’ve ever seen: sculpting is spot on, poseability is top notch, accessories rock, and the coloring was outstanding. It was the perfect Frank Castle. But after that, who cared? Most figures looked like ass, and the phase had run its course. Little stuff here and there was neat, like the black and white Clerks In-Action figures. But recently, a lot of neat stuff has come down the pike. I finally picked up another Legends figure, that being a Hydra Soldier, which is great, because it looks friggin’ perfect, and because you can never have too many goons. Then Star Wars had these Muggs figures, which are these bulbous little anime-ish characters, and of course, I had to get the Han Solo figure. But, even so, these occurrences are few and far between. Especially when I picked up one of the new 25th Anniversary GI Joe figures, only to find it stiff and cheap and plasticky feeling.

But then I saw these:

And I thought, that’s how you do it. They look pretty true to the original comics (all red masks, natch), have that cel shading thing going on, and have unique facial expressions per their personality. So of course I have to get the Donatello (he does machines, you know). The word on the street is that they’ll be $14.99 to $15.99 (depending if you buy it retail or specialty store, I suppose). That’s not bad, except for the fact that I’m pretty sure this is one of those rare times I might buy two of the damn thing, because I want one to, um, have out (not play with, stupid), and one to keep in the box. I almost never do that, partly because I’m not a neckbearded grease-hog who plans on hocking these things in 20 years, and partly because it’s retarded to do so. But this will be an exception.

So each dude comes with a base that you slap together with the other three to form a city block, I guess. Neat. The only thing that sticks out (and I’ve read a lot of bitching about this) is the neck - it appears to be a bit long. But I consider that a non-issue - the longer neck likely provides more room for the head. But, the most important thing is this next picture:

A MOUSER. I would totally order these guys in bulk. You have no idea what I’d be willing to do to get my hands on a giant tub of these guys. Even better if they come with a poofy-haired Baxter Stockman figure with a pullstring that goes: “YIPPEE I YAY!”.

Movie Moment #14: Sheriff Heflin, deaf and bloody, goes after Superboy

A little back story: Sylvester Stallone did a lot of shitty movies in the 80’s. For every movie he made that was as great as Rocky, he made five awful movies like that shitpile Over the Top. To try and resurrect his common man actor image, he decided to go with a movie he thought would get him Oscar recognition. Taking a paycut (which, for him, is sixty grand), he took on Cop Land. The movie did financially okay, but then, the entire cast worked for little money. Stallone himself would later state that it nearly ended his career, because filmmakers thought he was no longer interested in action films.

Now, the basic backstory (which is quite lengthy, but I’ll try to sum quickly):
- Sheriff Freddy Heflin is the sheriff of a small Jersey town named Garrison. Freddy is slow and always oblivious. By slow, it’s probably more appropriate to say that he’s just … well, sort of sad and almost sort of unable to be confrontational.
- Freddy is sheriff because A.) he’s deaf in one ear, keeping him out of the NYPD and B.) because his corrupt (although he doesn’t seem to realize they are) cop pals appointed him sheriff of their hideaway town, but they hold all the real power anyway. The head corrupt cop is Ray Donlan, played by Harvey Keitel.
- Freddy is in love with (and always has been) Liz, a girl he saved from drowning - saving her also cost him the hearing in one ear. Liz ended up marrying an NYPD cop, and it turned into an abusive marriage.
- “Superboy” Murray Babitch shot two black teens in a car, because he thought they had a gun. It turned out they didn’t, and the NYPD faked his death. He hangs out in Garrison and goes to parties while there’s a big investigation in the city. Everyone in the small town knows the truth, seemingly, except for Freddy. When the corrupt cops realize they can’t cover up Murray’s death, they need a body - and try to kill Super-bitch. Murray, however, escapes, and tries to go to Freddy for help.
- The department of Internal Affairs has been after Donlan for quite some time, and this situation gives them an in. When they go to Freddy for help, he brushes them off, thinking being loyal to Donlan is the right thing to do. Without help from Freddy, their small window of opportunity vanishes when Donlan makes a phone call to “friends” to get the investigation shut down. When Freddy starts seeing things for what they really are, he tries to go back to Internal Affairs for help, only to be told that he blew his shot at being a hero.
- Freddy finally finds Superboy in the town’s water tower, and holds him until morning to take him to New York. The other officers in his department, afraid of Ray, leave Freddy by himself to watch Superboy. When Freddy and Murray walk out the next morning, the bad guys appear out of nowhere, take Murray, and fire off a shot in Freddy’s good ear.

The bad guys peel out, and Freddy screams in pain. Now without any sense of hearing, Freddy picks up his shotgun, and limps toward Ray’s house.

And it’s like the sleeping giant’s been awakened, so to speak.

Freddy remains slow, but now, it’s more of a methodical approach. He slowly limps up the street, past gawking neighbors and barking dogs that he can’t hear, until he reaches Ray’s house. And, one by one, Freddy guns down each officer. When his shotgun jams, he pulls out his pistol and plugs a bad guy. And he doesn’t even flinch if his enemy fires off a round first - it harmlessly blows out a car window, and Freddy drops the hammer. His friend Figgsy (played by Ray Liotta) arrives to assist him and watch his back, but it’s almost unnecessary. Freddy’s become a machine, and marches into the house, up the stairs, and blows Donlan away.

And Freddy, still deaf, still bloodied, barely able to stand, takes Superboy to New York. And so Freddy becomes a real sheriff, and becomes what he always wanted to be: a hero. So everybody lives happily ever after and everything, but holy smokes, did they put the final shootout together. It felt very much like an old west-type shootout, and a very well done one at that.

20.
19. Batman Forever - Two-Face Kills Robin’s Family
18.
17.
16. Apocalypse Now - Chef and Willard Find a Tiger
15.
14. Cop Land - Sheriff Heflin, deaf and bloody, goes after Superboy
13.
12. They Live - Frank and Nada Fight
11. Terminator 2: Judgment Day - The Terminator Gives the Thumbs Up
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5. Saving Private Ryan - Captain Miller Goes Off to Cry
4.
3. Back to the Future - George McFly Stands Up to Biff
2.
1.

So Brock Lesnar loses in 1:30

Lesnar vs. Mir on YouTube

So in his second UFC fight, Brock lost to Frank Mir. In a buck thirty. Of course, that’s not really the end of Lesnar’s MMA career, but it is odd that he got matched up with someone of Mir’s stature in his second pro fight ever. Trying to cash in on Lesnar’s mystique, perhaps? I dunno. What I do know is that Brock looked great out of the gate, taking down Mir twice (although he blew one of the takedowns by hitting Mir in the back of the head), but in the midst of pounding Mir, repeatedly left Mir free from the abdomen down. And he’s been training and all, and he was a top NCAA wrestler, but it looked like he came off as too aggressive and gave Mir too much room. I noticed the spin he did across Mir’s body, so he remembers wrestling, but someone needs to teach him to ground’n'pound properly. Mir was able to just lay back and take his drubbing while he found a way to apply the ankle lock (Kurt Angle woulda been proud). I guess now it’s time to wonder when Brock is going to get his ass kicked enough to the point where he quits (see: Brock’s “career” with the Minnesota Vikings), and finally goes back to Vince. I just wish there was a way to get rid of that stupid fucking sword tattoo.

Movie Quick Hits (aka Movies that don’t get a whole article)

If you’ve ever wondered if there are movies out there you haven’t heard of, but might be interested in, then I’ve done all the legwork for you.

3-Iron (2004)
This is a Korean film (Bin-Jip is what they call it over there) about a squatter who breaks into people’s homes while they’re away. He gets to somewhat experience their home life while repairing various things and cleaning their houses. Unexpectedly, our main character meets a defeated woman in a mansion who wants to leave her abusive marriage. It’s really awesome, in a quiet and quirky way.
My Score: 84

Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison (1957)
Robert Mitchum took a break from being a bad-ass to make a movie about being a Marine stranded on a desert island during World War II. Luckily for him, he finds a woman on the island who’s also stranded. Unluckily for him, she’s a nun. D’oh! That doesn’t really stop them from developing feelings for each other, though. Oh, and the Japanese show up because, you know, there’s war happening.
My Score: 97

A Thousand Clowns (1965)
Jason Robards plays a middle aged man who’s still basically a 19-year old. He really refuses to take his future or his career (or lack thereof) seriously, and takes pleasure in delis, traveling around the city, and watching regular people go to work. The only real problem is that he’s responsible for a 12-year old. Social services eventually find out about the situation, and threaten to separate the pair. The film just felt so natural and ahead of its time with the dialogue and chemistry everybody had. Co-Starring the guy who played Mr. Feeny and the voice of KITT.
My Score: 91

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999)
This is a flick about a hitman for a loser Jersey mob named Ghost Dog - a guy who follows the way of the samurai. The guy is a machine, sort of like a Anton Chigurh-type, but on the other side of the coin, if you will. He’s almost like a force of nature. The film is very slow-paced, but not in a dragging sort of way - more like an “Old West” type of feel, where everything builds slowly and deliberately. The film heats up when a hit goes somewhat awry, and the mob decides the hitman needs to go. Instead of being the hunted, though, Ghost Dog goes on the offensive. The soundtrack by The RZA is simply outstanding, and it has a good bit of dark humor to it. I consider this a must-see.
My Score: 98

The Time Machine (1960)
A lot of older Sci-Fi movies fall into the trap of just being too damn goofy. I know there wasn’t much in the way of special effects back then, but there were ways to get around it. I feel like so many older flicks just date themselves badly with effects that were poor even for their era. The Time Machine, however, is a different animal. Some of the effects are really great, and some are a bit kitschy, but … in a cool way. The sharp style and amount of color in this really set it apart from most other genre movies from the same time. It just didn’t make the mistakes a lot of other movies did - no oppressive soundtrack, no painful over-acting, no clear cut happy ending. The film manages to be both genuinely fun and a strong adaptation of the book.
My Score: 89

Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead (1995)
This film tries really hard to be unique and cool and everything, and while it’s not one of the great style films of the 90’s, it is a lot of fun. The movie starts off as an average gangster flick, with guns and caricatures of character types, but then, out of nowhere, shit just happens, and the movie goes into another gear. Treat Williams is awesome as a corpse-beating, piss-drinking, shotgun-swinging nutjob named Critical Bill, and Steve Buscemi is pretty great as a silent hitman named Mr. Shh. It’s not especially clever or high-brow, but it is a slam bang shoot ‘em up funny ride kind of thing.
My Score: 73