Vince and StupidMania XXIV
Vince McMahon makes a lot of stupid, stupid, stupid decisions. If you want to check, just to be sure, go visit Wrestlecrap.com. Now, obviously, Vince makes a lot of good decisions, because he has what’s basically a business monopoly, and is a billionaire.
Just to be fair, he’s done a lot of very smart things. Those things would include:
- He purchased (made a fucking steal) WCW for a few million dollars. The tape library alone was worth that.
- They (WWE) also acquired the tape libraries for lots of dead promotions. (ECW, AWA, Smokey Mountain, and so forth)
- WWE started a 24/7 subscription cable channel to make use of said libraries, along with extensive DVD releases. Both have proven lucrative.
- He managed to outlast every major rival promotion in the U.S. He either drained their talent or let their own incompetence do them in.
- WWE used their large amount of talent to create a “brand split” providing two (and eventually three) separate shows. The diversification of talent provided fresh programming for fans.
- The guy made WrestleMania, Pay-Per-View, and charging $34.95 A MONTH to watch his shows routine.
- McMahon finally admitted “Hey, wrestling is fake!” and thus skirted having to pay the usual licensing fees usually paid by boxing, MMA, and other sports.
- Vince has made huge money off of his stars like The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant.
That’s not bad. Let’s review the bad:
- McMahon created the World Bodybuilding Federation, an independent bodybuilding promotion with like 8 guys and a saturday morning show to promote it. Less than a year later, it had been long canceled, and McMahon was in the midst of a government steroid investigation that nearly cost him his business.
- McMahon and NBC got together to create the XFL, or X-Treme Football League. It lasted one season, and by the end, nobody was watching the low-scoring games with horrible camera angles and players with names on their jerseys like “He Hate Me”.
- His daughter… where do I start? She’s arguably the second-most powerful person in the WWE, yet for years, forced her way on to TV - despite the fact that she had a horrible speaking voice, was loathed by fans, and seemed to somehow be the integral part of major storylines for about six or seven straight years. She ended up marrying one of the most power-hungry and manipulative employees in the company, therefore making him the biggest ass on the planet.
- He really cannot get along with people who don’t share his “vision”. See: Paul Heyman, Steve Austin, Bret Hart, etc. Most of those people had pretty solid ideas, and refused to conform to Vince’s ridiculous ideas. See the following bullet for such ideas. If they refused to cooperate, they were pretty much fired.
- He okayed: on-screen necrophilia, a 90-year old woman giving birth to a plastic hand, Jonathan Coachman being on television in any form, World Champion John Cena, hiring giant slugs who look impressive yet can’t do a thing (Zeus/Tiny Lister, The Great Khali, Giant Gonzales, Brakus, post-WCW Scott Steiner, and on and on), fat male strippers, the kiss my ass club (Vince showing off his ass), women’s “wrestling” (this is a separate topic; no hate against women, but holy shit, hire TALENTED women), the new ECW, Country Superstar Jeff Jarrett (complete with “performances” on Pay Per View), Chyna, and on and on.
Now, my current annoyance with McMahon and WWE is Floyd Mayweather. Mayweather, a boxer, appeared and got into a confrontation with the returning Big Show (see: untalented slugs), and now they’re going to have a “match”, for which Mayweather will be paid twenty million dollars.
My question is, who the fuck is Floyd Mayweather?
I think I’ve somewhat heard his name in passing. I think. Does the average wrestling fan even have a clue of who he is? I don’t. And they’re really pushing for Floyd to look like the good guy, which is bizarre, because he’s almost getting a heel reaction when he appears. He sucks at talking, so the fans can’t connect with him, and he has nowhere near the name value or appeal of Mike Tyson. Tyson succeeded a decade ago because he was a big name with a sideshow appeal, AND because he was opposing Steve Austin, the most popular star the WWF/E had had in over ten years. Twenty million for a boxer that only boxing fans know? Twenty million? What the shit? I understand the benefit of having celebrities appear at WrestleMania (because having Donald Trump walk around next to a wrestling ring lends so much credibility), but let the trained guys do their job. Why not have Show destroy Mayweather’s entourage, and then have Mayweather find someone who can stand up to Show in the ring? This shit isn’t hard, folks. I’d write this crap for an even million. I don’t understand how your publicly traded company turns a profit by paying some barely recognizable boxer twenty million in the midst of UFC destroying both boxing AND wrestling in television ratings and pay per view buys.
But then, I’m not a billionaire, am I?
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